August 30th is National Grief Awareness Day, a day organizers hope people will use to recognize the profound affect grief can have on a person’s life. Grief is an individual process, but experts agree that all people experience the same stages of grief. Some people spend longer than others in certain stages. Also, not all people experience the stages of grief in the same order.
Understanding the stages of grief can help family caregivers and home care providers to support a senior who has lost a loved one or who is grieving a change in their life due to illness or injury. Below are the five stages of grief and an explanation of each.
Denial
During the denial stage, a person may try to tell themselves that the events aren’t happening. They feel shocked and numb, unable to process the death, loss, or bad news. Your parent may try to isolate themselves from others so that they do not have to face the situation and talk about it. This stage is considered the mind’s defense mechanism as it prevents a person from feeling too many emotions and too much pain all at once. Instead, the denial stage allows a person to push aside their feelings until they are ready to deal with them.
Anger
When your parent starts to accept the reality of the situation, they may feel angry. The pain of the situation may cause them to lash out or to look for someone to blame. Their anger might be directed at loved ones, home care providers, the person who died, the doctor who diagnosed the condition, inanimate objects, or even complete strangers. Give your parent time and space to experience their anger. Try not to take their actions personally, but recognize that they are part of the grieving process.
Bargaining
Bargaining might be seen as the “what if” or “if only” stage of grieving. Your parent may entertain thoughts about what they could have done to change the situation. They might also attempt to bargain with a higher power, such as promising to do something if the situation is changed. Your parent may feel guilty during this stage, blaming themselves for something they did or didn’t do.
Depression
During the depression stage, your parent will feel sad as they start to think about how the loss or change will affect their life. They may cry, have trouble sleeping, and experience changes in appetite. They may also feel lonely and overwhelmed. Family caregivers and home care providers can help during this stage by reassuring your parent that they are not alone and that it is okay to be sad. However, if you believe your parent’s depression is severe or is lasting too long, it is a good idea to talk to a doctor about whether your parent may need medication or therapy.
Acceptance
Acceptance occurs when your parent begins to adjust to the loss or change and accepts that it cannot be changed. They may still feel sad, but they are ready to move forward and start living again.
Remember that grief is an individual process for everyone. Your parent may move through the stages rapidly or linger in one stage or another. There is no set time limit to the grieving process, but if you are concerned about your parent being depressed, consult a doctor to determine if treatment is needed.
Sources: https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/
http://www.webmd.com/balance/normal-grieving-and-stages-of-grief#1
https://www.change.org/p/declare-august-30th-national-grief-awareness-day
If you or an aging loved one are considering Home Care Services in Walpole MA, or anywhere in Eastern Massachusetts, please call the caring staff at CARE Resolutions – (508) 906-5572.
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